Category Archives: Joy & Life & Stuff

Visual Space = Emotional and Mental Space

In the last six years I have moved several times. Due to the circumstances I never unpacked all the cardboard boxes, moving some of them from flat to flat, without even knowing exactly anymore what’s inside. Beginning of August this year I moved again, into a very small place: one room, a nice bathroom and a sweet little kitchenette. This time, I decided, no more unemptied moving boxes in my home. And slowly but surely I am digging through all the stuff that has accumulated over the years: documents and bills I no longer need, old books that take up space I don’t have and that will be of more use as recycled paper, clothes I haven’t worn in years and I have too much of, etc. etc. Here and there I also come across items I had forgotten about and am happy to recover.

With every box I empty and throw away I am gaining more space to move and breathe and think and dream. And I am moving away from my past and more into my present life. It feels good.

Age is Only a Number

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Bullshit!

How many times have you heard people say “Age is only a number”? Probably lots. Individuals who spit up this phrase are most probably either very young or they want to sell you something. They say it to comfort you, or to reassure themselves, or you really do look acceptable “for your age” and that’s their way of telling you.

Well friends, I just turned 55, I feel great most of the time – physically, mentally, and emotionally. But let’s be honest, getting old sucks!

10 years ago (it seems like yesterday… okay, the day before yesterday) when I turned 45, one day on the beach this absolutely perfect specimen of a suntanned, muscular lifeguard hit on me. Of all the young hot beauties on the beach he picked me. I was excited and flattered, of course. We had a one-night fling which I will never forget.

Today, I don’t wear a bikini anymore and even in a one-piece bathing suit I don’t feel like showing myself on the beach. My body has changed. Although I am still told that I am attractive, I know what the years have done to me. I don’t look like this  anymore. Maybe I just shouldn’t care. But being aesthetic was always important to me, whether it concerned myself or others.

Growing old means: your hair loses its pigment and turns gray, on the whole body, wherever you [still] have hair; on the other hand, women suddenly have to pluck stubble from around their mouth and chin, a place where they never had visible hair before. The skin turns wrinkly, saggy and gets old-age spots. Your once youthly perfect nails morph to gross, protruding pieces of ugliness (I’m not there yet but I’ve seen it on old people). Your eyes lose their shine. Body functions aren’t what they used to be. Getting up in the morning takes longer and might be accompanied by back pain or stiff limbs. Still think getting old is just a number?

But there are also a few good things that come with age: Learning to focus on what makes us feel good and being consequent enough to get rid of whatever and whoever is bad for us. The ability to enjoy the moment and be genuinely thankful for every day on which we are able to see the sun rise and set. Being able to help others and to enjoy the rewarding feeling and the sense of meaning it gives us.

And here is the best: Falling in love is possible at any age! And it does happen. At all ages.

In the desert, you can remember …

“In the desert you can remember your name
‘Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain”
(And no noisy and flashy distractions or temptations.)

Sleepy weekend afternoon.
A gathering of friends.
A two-hour ride away from Tel-Aviv.

Peaceful quiet outside.
Sandy soft yet bright light.
A warm-dry breeze caressing body and soul.

Disturbing political issues seem far away…

“…
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound

I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
‘Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain”
America, A Horse with No Name – Lyrics and Explanation

 

 

Text or Talk?

Text messaging is a great invention.

However, due to the lack of facial and emotional expression, eye contact, voice and tone nuances, body language, and to delays in responses when texting, it bears a great potential for misinterpretation and misunderstandings.

It is amazing how upset a text can make the person receiving it, while the sender meant something completely different. And it happens all the time.

Just recently, I totally misunderstood the tone and the intention of two short text messages I received from someone very close. I was so hurt that I felt like cutting off the relation on spot. Ok, we are talking about a quite complex liaison and I admit being a bit impulsive at times. And, I had a dear friend by my side who herself is going through a sad period, and thus, she backed me up in my end-of-the-world and end-whatever-is-bad for-you mood.

Ironically, texting is supposed to be a quick means of communication, but when it causes a misunderstanding between two people, especially a couple, it can take very long to fix the damage.

So before letting a text that hurt or really annoyed you which you received  from someone who’s important to you, turn into an argument or a broken heart, pick up the phone or meet face to face and talk about it.

(I sorted things out in person with “my” texter …)

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